Tuesday, July 04, 2006

How Can You Lose Something You Never Really Had?

After the movie marathon I had this weekend, one question remains with me. One of my all time favorite movie is. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". I love the simplicity of the plot line. Despite the simple plot line, the whirlwind of emotions the characters go through complicates the situation. This is one movie that I listen to every word (sometimes recite it by heart) the characters say. The lines are short but powerful. As the long weekend comes to an end, I awake in the morning asking myself the same thing Kate Hudson asked, "How can you lose something you never really had?".

I don’t know what it is that I have lost, but I know the tightness in my heart means something. Could it be that I have lost the security of my old school and am now entering into the unknown? I don't know. I seem really confused right now.

When I asked myself this question in the morning, the answer was simple and logical. You can't lose something you never had because it was never yours to begin with. But after some retrospection, I think you can. You lose the memory of the thing, you lose the security of the thing... so many times in life we enter a situation knowing what we have entered into is not permanent, like a temp job, or going to school, or going a trip. Despite knowing it is a temporary state of being, when it ends, it is like a void has filled the air around us. Why does this happen? Why is there such a huge continuum between reality and emotions?

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