The art of manifesting

 I think I get it.

This is what happens now.

I have subconscious beliefs and labels I operate from. These are:

1. I am a positive person.

2. I am strong (emotionally)

3. I like people to think I'm emotionally strong and like to be praised for getting through tough times with a smile.

Enter various situations to test my beliefs:

A few days after my dad passed away, I remember going to my aunt's house and I was happy there. I remember thinking, "When I go back home, I'll be sad and everyone will say, "Oh, poor her. She needs to be away from the house to be happy, and I will be the girl who needed to be away from the house to be happy". 

After that, every scenario about death and strength played out in my head. My mum was the youngest and her husband died early therefore my husband will die early too because I am the youngest. I will have the opportunity to show my emotional strength like my mother did. The stories continue.

Asif fell sick - wow, Fatema is so strong.

Zaynab falls sick (in anyway) - Fatema is so strong.

Miscarriages - Fatema is so strong.

Noor is born with a hole in her heart - Fatema is so strong.

Asif falls sick again - Fatema is so strong.

Fatema goes back to work after 5 months of maternity leave - Fatema is so strong.

Family goes from 7 to 13 overnight - ohhh, that's a great story and Fatema is so strong.

Is there a pattern? Seems so.

I need to switch the pattern and start to manifest from a place of consciousness and a place of purpose.

I need to find my purpose.